Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize