There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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