We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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