yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
