some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
