Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
