where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
