Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
