New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize