He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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