found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize