Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
