If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize