I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize