Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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