In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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