I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
