Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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