Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
