i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
