someone threw a dead crab at me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
