you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
