You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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