i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
