HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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