he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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