we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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