I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
