Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize