my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
