The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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