if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
