Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
