I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
