the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize