you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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