Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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