she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
