So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
