eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
