That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
