When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
