i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
