He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
