guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
