Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
