He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
