tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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