i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
