Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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