I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
