I am in a vortex of obligation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
