Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize