Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
