What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
