Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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