i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
